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robertoluongo:

in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke

(via leavewithlipsandnotafight)

  • Every time I get my period: Wow no okay that was not a month.

thespacegoat:

• Accidentally close a tab? Ctrl+Shift+T reopens it.
• Bananas release dopamine, eat them when you’re sad.
• CTRL+SHIFT+ESC is the one handed version of CTRL+ALT+DEL
• Don’t brush your teeth hard, it makes them sensitive and removes enamel.
• Don’t like spiders? Put citronella oil on your walls and they will not go there.
• Drink one glass of water for every alcoholic drink you have, you’ll get drunk without getting a hangover.
• Get clear ice cubes by boiling water before freezing it
• Heal paper cuts and immediately stop the pain with chapstick.
• If you accidentally write on your dry erase board with a permanent marker, scribble over it with a dry eraser marker to remove it.
• If your shoes smell, put them in the freezer overnight, it will kill the bacteria. 
• Make bug bites stop itching with a banana peel.
• Make a paper longer with 12-point text, but 14-point periods and commas.
• Need to get around a blocked website at work? Try replacing the http:// with https://
• Never send your resume as a word file (unless asked) Instead, print it to a pdf file, it’s much cleaner and professional looking.
• Pick a flavor of gum you don’t normally chew, and chew it while studying during a test.
• Place a piece of bread in a container with your homemade cookies and  they will stay soft.
• Put a dry towel into a dryer with wet clothes, they will dry faster.
• Put toothpaste on a pimple and it will dry out.
• Practise fake smiling in the mirror every day before going to work/school, you’ll genuinely start to feel happier.
• Rub canola/olive oil on knives before cutting onions, you won’t cry, alternatively chew gum and you won’t either.
• Short on time with a wrinkled dress shirt? Hang it up in the bathroom to steam it flat.
• The night before, place things you don’t want to forget the next morning on top of your shoes.
• Use hydrogen peroxide to remove blood stains from clothing.
• When cleaning windows use newspapers or coffee filters instead of paper towels, they will not leave streaks.
• When microwaving bread products/pizza put a glass of water in with it, it will keep your bread from going spongy.
• When you move into a new place you’re renting, take pictures of any and all damage, then post them on facebook (privately if preferred) so you can use the reference date as proof you didn’t do it.
• When searching plane tickets online delete your cookies prior, prices go up when you visit a site multiple times. 

(via leavewithlipsandnotafight)

nobody puts baby in the corner.

nobody puts baby in the corner.

(via why-u-no-follow-me)

w-a-v-e:

do you ever just glance at a guys crotch and think “theres a dick there”

(via encounterrachael)

amazzingphil:

[IT IS PERFECTLY OKAY TO LOVE A BAND’S MOST POPULAR SONG THERE IS A REASON IT IS THEIR MOST POPULAR SONG]

(via ddaisybuchanan)

  • Me during the day: I'm so fucking tired oh my God I can't wait to go to bed tonight
  • Me during the night: Let's download the top 100 songs from the 90s and listen to them all while writing a novel and watching an entire season of something and maybe rearrange my room

odolnost:

if you locked your boyfriend and your dog in a trunk for a week and then opened it the boyfriend would probably be pissed but the dog would be happy to see you also known as reasons why dogs are better than boyfriends

(via mrmdprncss)

crispy-ghee:

susheep:

probably one of the most honest statements about talent i’ve ever heard. i try to tell people this all the time.

yup pretty much

crispy-ghee:

susheep:

probably one of the most honest statements about talent i’ve ever heard. i try to tell people this all the time.

yup pretty much

(via laurynhillsavedmylife)

cyanide-poisoning:

Men Experiencing Labor Pains

With their wives supporting them.

(via bel-sogno)

dearscience:

The road to fitzroy by Jimmy McIntyre

dearscience:

The road to fitzroy by Jimmy McIntyre

When I’m catching up with my friend and she starts telling me every single boring detail of her week

whatshouldbetchescallme:

image

zodiacsociety:

Gemini Leisure & Hobbies

zodiacsociety:

Gemini Leisure & Hobbies

My baby!!

My baby!!

THEME BY PARTI